Saturday, October 31, 2009

Pukey McStabbyEye

Happy Halloween everyone! After Corin's first adventure in pumpkin-carving, we were invited to a friend's pumpkin party, so we did a second one with Corin, this time buying one of those kid-safe saws so that he could participate in the actual carving.

He didn't quite have the strength to push and pull on the saw when it was stuck firmly in the pumpkin flesh, but once I had popped out the eyes, he liked stabbing the eye sockets, repeatedly. It was pretty gruesome. And totally Halloween-y.



Also, since we had started the project with the eyes rather than scooping it out first, all the guts were left inside behind the eyeballs and the mouth, which people at the party thought was equally gruesome. We made him barf it out a little, hence the moniker Pukey McStabbyEye.



That's just so wrong.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

HAP-py duh-day, Apa!



I'm 34 today, twice the age of when I graduated high school. Weird.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sidewalks

in the summer they walk outside
chatting
darting
boisterous

in winter
they scurry
hunched

in autumn they are mellow
tweed jackets
cups of coffee

they stroll

at peace

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Corin sings his ABCs

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Misidentification

The other night Amanda and I were reading downstairs while Corin was taking a nap. She heard something that might have been Corin, but might also have been the cat. "Steve, can you tell what that is?" she asked me.

I stared up toward the dim stairway, and thought I could see something there, but it didn't seem to be moving — maybe a sweater than had been dropped there. "I'm not sure," I said tentatively.

"I'm Corin," came the clearly offended voice from the darkness.

Friday, October 9, 2009

An insane generosity

What the Gospels MeantContinuing with my series highlighting interesting passages in "What the Gospels Meant," I have to say that I was really struck and convicted by Garry Wills' translation of Luke 6:27-38 (which parallels the more famous Sermon on the Mount but in Luke's version is a little more stripped down).

Maybe it was the fresh language Wills brings to it, maybe it's just that I've spent more time with the Mattew 5 verses than with Luke's framing of these core teaching, or maybe it's just reading it all squished together in one paragraph with no verse breaks, but it felt to me afresh and alive to hear this plea from Jesus of what he desires of us.
"I say to all you who can hear me: Love your foes, help those who hate you, praise those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who punches your cheek, offer the other cheek. To one seizing your cloak, do not refuse your tunic under it. Whoever asks, give to him. Whoever seizes, do not resist. Exactly how you wish to be treated, in that way treat others. For if you love those who love back, what mark of virtue have you? Sinners themselves love those who love back. If you treat well those treating you well, what mark of virtue have you? That is how sinners act. If you lend only where you calculate a return, what mark of virtue have you? Sinners, too, lend to sinners, calculating an exact return. No, rather love your foes, and treat them well, and lend without any calculation of return. Your great repayment will be that you are children of the Highest One, who also favors ingrates and scoundrels. Be just as lenient as that lenient Father. Do not judge, then, and you will not be judged. Be no sentencer, and you will not be sentenced. Pardon and you will be pardoned. Give, and ample recompense of crammed-in, sifted-down, overtoppling good will be showered into your lap. The excess will correspond to your excess."
So often we get the Bible handed to us in little fortune-cookie sized snippets, and the fullness of what is being said is lost. A single verse can be rationalized away. The full passage makes it clear that Jesus is hammering home one point, over and over: God is insanely generous, and to be his followers, we must be insanely generous as well. Not generous to a church, or to an institution, or to a cause, but generous to people. Insanely. Absurdly. Foolishly — against all rules of nature and rules of man. God has poured out his benevolence on ingrates and scoundrels and his children will do the same.

That just can't be swept under the rug. That can't be dismissed as pie-in-the-sky. That the reality of God's kingdom that we must bend our minds around in order to understand the Almighty Father and his will for us as his emissaries. I for one know that my mind still struggles to bend toward His heart.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Celebrate good times, come on

I can't remember when it started, but some time back we said "Cheers!" to Corin and clinked glasses when we were all drinking the same thing (probably to convince him that he didn't need to drink directly from our glass but that the same thing was in his plastic cup). Ever since then, whenever we are holding two of the same thing, he always gets a big grin on his faces, bashes them together and says "Cheers!" whether it be grapes or keys or pens or books or what have you. It's pretty adorable.

[Addendum 10/9: Just now, Corin was holding a little felt baby doll in an orange onesie, and Corin, in an orange shirt, tapped it to his chest and said "Cheers!"]

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"Break Me"

Back in June, I promised that a recording of one of my new songs was on the way. Three months later, it's finally done.

"Done" being a relative term. See, I envisioned the song for a man (since there's a line about being a king) and with a sort-of angry rock vibe to the chorus. The only problem is that I can't really sing, and Amanda, who plays all the instruments for me on her keyboard, hasn't been in a rock band. So this is an extremely amateur demo version of the song that we ended up with. (Any friends with musical talent who want to help record a new demo are welcome to volunteer...) Nevertheless, it's close enough to what I wanted that it's worth sharing at this point.

Disclaimers aside, I really like the song itself. The idea behind the lyrics is that it's really easy to get lulled into a false sense of achievement in one's Christian walk. Maybe for a while we struggle and strive, but then we see other people around us perfectly content and happy to be doing token service to God and it's easy to wonder: Why am I striving so hard? I could just put on the right outward show and no one would be the wiser.

For me, I am not strong enough to break out of that lethargy and stasis once it gets ahold of me. I think: That's probably a good idea, I really should love more, I need to wake from this slumber — but I never get beyond thinking. I just can't bring myself to be the one to pull the trigger. I have to give myself over God and allow him to shatter my illusions about myself, and to break my spirit of inertia. I pray for winds of change, for life to strip me clean, so that my Christian calling is unearthed from piles of rationalizations. This song is about being forcibly destroyed and remade — the sheer terror of that, and the unsettling knowledge that my heart truly needs it.

BREAK ME
music & lyrics by Steve Lansingh


(if the embedded version won't play, you can download the song here)

I want to be like you, but there's so much of me
that I find I can't let go
I want to share your grace, but I'm too opaque
to let your spirit show

so break this earthen vessel
to let your glory shine
I just can't swing the hammer with
these timid hands of mine
and when I am made nothing then
I'll fin'lly be alive...

just break me, devastate me,
shatter my life with your majesty
invade me, subjugate me,
and in your power remake me
in your power remake me

I want to be your hands, I want to be your feet
but I live within my skin
I keep my distance and put up resistance
to taking others in

so free me from this fortress
where only I am king
batter e'vry rampart
and grant me suffering
then lead me out to greet those who
you love so achingly

so break me, overtake me,
rule in my life in your sovereignty
embrace me, permeate me,
and in your power remake me
in your power remake me

i want to be like you, but there's so much of me
that I find I can't let go

Friday, September 11, 2009

Our city block

(click to enlarge)

Here's an aerial tour of our new city block. We're the building with the magenta sqaures around it. Within a couple-minute walk we have such favorite places as:
  • the Puget Sound, the beach, and bike path (yellow circles)

  • two full-sized playground for Corin, and picnic area on the beach (orange circles)

  • our favorite old-fashioned diner, Pepperdock; our favorite fine-dining restaurant, Siam Pura; and a Tully's for escaping Corin and getting writing done (blue circles)

  • community events, classes, and programs at the Alki Bathhouse and Alki Community Center (green circles)
Sweet!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The big day










Inside the condo

I had a chance 10 weeks ago to share my excitement about possibly securing a place here on Alki, but I didn't delve too much into the condo itself because we knew that Plan A was never a sure thing. Now, with keys in hand, I can share a little more about the living quarters.

The condo is a three-story building, and our unit spans the second and third floors of the building. The is our first place to span more than one floor, and I have to admit that it was a huge attraction. Our nature is to be messy, to let clutter flow from one room to the next and take over. That's been particularly true since starting our home business, as there was never a clear demarcation between living space and work space. Now there is. The downstairs can be the place to play, eat, relax, and entertain, and the upstairs can be for work and for projects. Our hope is to be able to have our friends over more often this way, although you will never be allowed upstairs, sorry.

Along with two floors comes two bathrooms, something we've never had either. Actually, it's two half baths: Downstairs is a toilet and sink, and upstairs is a toilet and tub, with two separate sinks in each of the bedrooms. That affords a lot opportunity to get ready without stumbling over each other (but more sinks to clean, darn).

Other things new to us include a washer/dryer in unit, which is not uncommon in apartment buildings these days but we've never been fortunate to have, so that's the end of lugging hampers up and down stairs, huzzah!

We have a real working fireplace now (instead of a fake 1920s electric one), although I'm not sure how often we'll actually use it. The master bath has a full-length mirror as a closet door, so now we can see more clearly how bad we look from the waist down. Oh, and a garbage disposal, that's new to us, and something that we've missed a lot.

The other thing I'm looking forward to is being able to keep our curtains open. I like light. I like the openness that windows bring to a room. And yet in our three apartments, we've always been near a lot of foot traffic, and people always turn their heads and look inside our place. I get self-conscious when I'm sitting around on my couch and strangers are walking down the path and staring at me. I prefer privacy, especially if I'm wrapping stacks and stacks of packages, or still wearing pajamas, or any of the other work-from-home oddities. But being on the second and third floors, there is no one at all to look in on us. (Except for an apartment building a couple blocks away, although you'd need binoculars to see in, and I'm sure I'm not that interesting.) So we can at last be free to have a lot of light and openness in our place without feeling spied on. Nice.

Speaking of light, I forgot that each of the bedrooms (and the hallway) have a skylight installed. It's the only unit in the building that paid for that upgrade when the did the roof, so it's a nice perk and adds a lot of light, plus they can be vented when the weather is hot. (And speaking of the roof, the building recently finished all major renovations including roof, siding, and windows, so we don't have to endure the year of scaffolding on the place that everyone else had to.)

There are a few downsides from perfection, the first being that there is no garden for Amanda. There is a nice picture-window box for plants that extends from the side of the building to capture lots of light, but, still, it doesn't offer the same opportunities that her double-bed garden at our apartment as afforded. There is also the fact that we'll have people living next to us on three sides once again (our current place is adjacent only one other unit), which means we'll have to be careful of keeping the noise down (not always easy with a toddler) and being aware of the late hours (not easy for us night owls). And we will now be part of a Home Owner's Association, which is something we've never done before, and we've heard stories of people having conflicts with their HOAs that has made us nervous. On the other hand, I like the chance it gives us to get to know our neighbors better, which we've haven't done very well in apartments.

OK, enough prologue. Here are two quick sketches (not to scale at all) that I've drawn up of the general layout of the two floors so that when you see the photos, you'll have a rough idea of the context (click to enlarge):



And here are photos off the realtor's website of the inside of our condo. These are probably more interesting for you to view than if we took our own photos (since it's now completely blank and empty), although I should mention that the staging is more bachelor-style than what we're hoping to achieve: a more beach-cottage feel. Enjoy!

fireplace/living room

patio/dining area

patio

living room/patio

downstairs bath

master bedroom

master bath

second bedroom (here staged as an office)

extra sink in the second bedroom

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My place in this world



Looks like here's where I'll be camped out for the next 20-40 years of my life!

(photo taken by local pilot/photographer Long Nguyen; orange circle added by me; click to enlarge)